20 Years of Memory Making: Day of Remembrance at Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital Stanford

The sunflower can be a hopeful symbol for the bereaved—a reminder to turn toward the light, even while grieving an unimaginable loss. At the 20th Day of Remembrance, hundreds of sunflowers lay on the entry table. Bereavement clinicians and volunteers welcomed each family with a flower, honoring their deceased child, grandchild, or sibling.     

Day of Remembrance is an annual event for families who have lost a baby, child, or young adult at Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital Stanford. The day’s emotions are as varied as the people who attend: some adults by themselves, grieving quietly; parents and young children sharing happy memories of baby brother; extended families of aunts, uncles, and cousins all wearing t-shirts depicting their loved one. What unites them is their grief; on this day, they can talk about these beloved children with other people who understand. 

“Our annual day of remembrance is one of the many ways that we encourage our bereaved families to stay connected to those they’ve lost,” said Esther Ammon, LCSW, director of Palliative Care & Family Guidance. “On this special day it is abundantly clear that strong, meaningful bonds with their loved ones continue to live on.” 

While somber, Day of Remembrance helps families make something beautiful from loss: community. “It’s a space where parents come together to speak their children’s names with love and pride,” said Ana Stafford, LCSW, manager of the Family Guidance and Bereavement Program. “Here, they can share stories freely, knowing their children are welcomed into every conversation and don’t have to worry about what others think of their grief. It’s a place where hearts listen, and every memory is met with kindness and love.” 

The clinicians on the Family Guidance and Bereavement team made a point of connecting with every guest; the room was full of love, memories, and belonging. The Stanford Medicine chorus sang beautiful and uplifting music, including Coco’s “Remember Me” and “Your Special Song,” written by a bereaved parent. Spanish speakers listened to the remarks through live, interpreter services. Child Life and Creative Arts specialists led legacy-making activities for the youngest guests, helping them to honor their siblings by decorating altars or painting flowerpots for planting forget-me-not seeds.  

During the ceremony, Mónica García, who spoke in honor of her youngest son, Andres, shared a message of gratitude: “I want to acknowledge how grateful I am that we have spaces like this, where we can gather, where we can honor our children, where we can share their love, share their stories, and connect with other families, so we know we’re not alone.”   

Hosted by the Family Guidance and Bereavement Program, Day of Remembrance is just one of the team’s many therapeutic offerings. They provide compassionate, culturally responsive care for bereaved families through individual counseling, educational workshops, and support groups for children and adults, including those grieving pregnancy loss. All of their services are offered in English and Spanish—at no cost, thanks to the 
generosity of our donor community, including long-time supporters, the Association of Auxiliaries for Children.  

Paul Franchak, a filmmaker who lives in Atlanta, wishes he had access to programs like these when his sister, Stephanie, passed away suddenly in 2004. Today, he honors Stephanie—who was a first-year resident at Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital when she died—by raising funds for the Family Guidance and Bereavement Program. “Grief, I’ve learned, is not something you get over; it simply changes over time,” said Paul. “What has remained constant for me is the belief that we all deserve space, compassion, and support as we navigate our way through it.” 

Thank you to the many donors in our community who enable compassionate, inclusive spaces for bereaved families—and to everyone grieving and remembering a loved one. As Ana Stafford said to close out Day of Remembrance: “Thank you for sharing your beautiful children with us.”